“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”― Maya Angelou
This piece stems out from the many discussions of people that stay in relationship of abuse, whether it be emotional or physical. Don’t be afraid to speak up and reach out.
***
Seventy times seven
My mother told me
Forgive them for they
Do not know what they do
Seventy times seven
I watched his lies erode
From his lips
He’s eyes haunted me
Because of the way he watched me
He wanted to be sure of
A part of life he could control
That was Me
Seventy times seven
I opened my legs and invited him
As I took sedatives
I had to be a mother
That what marriage should feel like
As the heat from his body kissed my skin
And I pretended to love him
Seventy times seven
I watched his girlfriends
Trickle in and out of the house
Mary
Kate
Havanna
Savanna
Seventy times seven
I opened the doors of the hospital
Emergency room echoed
As people questioned for the presence of the father
As my belly grew
His heart shrunk
He became weary of me
I started to eat more
Hoping to digest my emotions
Seventy times seven
He called me ugly
Spat on me
He only showed mercy
When I reminded him of the life below my chest
But it would only be his
If It were a boy
Because “men create only boys”
Seventy times seven
I gave birth to a girl
And hell caved in the walls of my home
His eyes turned red
His words were like daggers
As they pierce my heart
Seventy times seven
I forgave him
I kept quiet
I shrank myself
I was living in an illusion of happiness
I broke down
I lost hope
Mamma never taught me of
‘Enough’
‘Freedom’
Seventy times seven
I forgive you
But I am agonised by my very existence
Seventy times seven
I won’t be able to sleep tonight
I am a vessel filled with sorrow
I am broken, lost and empty
As I open my palms and receive depressants
My marriage finally came to a halt
As he filed for an end so he can get involved with another
To my healthy baby girl
Seventy times seven
Forgive them
But be attentive of their true nature
People will reveal themselves
Time will tell
©Kihek
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Kimberly Ihekwoaba 