“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” ~ Anonymous
This excerpt is from the many conversations about “living your dreams”. Is purpose a destination? Or is it a catalyst to ensure that you make a change to your lifestyle? So let’s reconsider the journey of life as sending constant reminders to change and grow.
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Sometimes I wish passion was like an endless flame. Like the wildfire that reduces forests to dust. But passion is just like a spark. To ignite your first step. In order to keep the flame going, you need to continue adding wood. and that is where the work begins. You have to be in search of fine wood that can sustain the burning flame. Your goal is to make the flame to rise or get hotter.
Because some days, I don’t have the motivation I might feel lost. I keep on asking, well, where is this going? What will be the result?
I wish motivation was like a GPS, to direct you to the net steps. But it is a mere emotion that excites you to return to work. And later you get faced with the choice of seeing in the breath in your lungs or spite your existence. I wish I didn’t feel lost because I can’t grasp the purpose of my commitments. My heart is drenched with emotions, pierced with the wounds of life. I am burdened by my feelings, I stopped acting, I stopped pretending that everything was ok. I hope to be freed from the fear of uncertainty. It plagues my every movement. It assures me that nothing is valid. Everything and anything can change. The only thing that I am sure of is this present moment.
I hid behind criticism and lies, that maybe purpose is like a red mat that guides you to the door of destiny. But guilt hovers, for all the sacrifices that need to be made. I am sore. My vision may be blurry but I have to remember that I am never alone. That maybe this is part of the journey, to separate distractions from fulfilment. To know that to pay attention to.
I don’t want to feel stuck anymore.
©Kihek
Kimberly Ihekwoaba 