“Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not mean they are supposed to get it back.” ~ Stephan Labossiere
No, I am not angry, nor mad as I wrote this. This is based on a question that I encounter daily: “can you still be friends with your ex?”
This is based on your definition of friendship. If friendship means hanging out, sharing all the juices of your life, comforting friends when they are having challenges, and in turn knowing you have a shoulder to lean on, then maybe reconsider. When you are in an emotional relationship, you develop this habits, of telling this person… EVERYTHING, or at least, most things. Now, it is up to the person to respect your privacy or share it with others. It is actually risky where you share intimate experiences, no not sexually, but being able to confide in this person. You could fall back to your old habits, picture this, at first crying, then a hug, which leads to… you get the image.
Usually, I celebrate indifference after the end of a relationship. Be clear: not hate, nor love. This means that my only concern is that you are breathing, everything else is none of my business. This way, we give each other space to move on with their lives. Sometimes it ends ugly, and I tell him, after all, that has happened, there is obviously no way that we can build a friendship. Let’s face the fact, I don’t trust you and you clearly want to manipulate my life to get back at me. Or one person just stops communicating and the other gets the message.
Do you think this is fair, harsh, or a smart idea? I want to hear your experiences too. Do please comment!
I was recently talking to someone in my past, don’t know if I should label it as a relationship, from my memory, it was more of a cycle of suspense and chaos. The only time I thought I was in a relationship lasted for two weeks. And it went downhill with months that made me grow weary. After tirelessly trying to sustain it, I let it crash. And with that incident, couldn’t recover it.
There was a moment of silence, we hadn’t talked since he started seeing another girl, but at this time he claimed to still be friends. Well not for me, I wasn’t gonna be in denial.
But I am a believer of, “everything works out for my good.” So now in a loving relationship. When I brought up to the topic of talking to a guy that I was emotionally evolved with, I felt a bit of hesitation. So this was my interpretation of the experience:
I opened the wounds
Flesh beyond flesh
Pink skin lumped over
Veins in weakened vibration
Heart pounding
The sound of echo beneath shells
Broken glass yield out
Gushing
Unceasing
Bleeding
Wounds unable to heal
Revisited
Memories replayed
Again
And again
His insecurities spread out
A blanket large enough
As he sought for warmth
Heat created could not be sufficed
I opened the wounds
Sorrow painted
Images flashed through his mind
Fear branching out to remind him
That he was not enough
Nor would be ever enough
For he will be replaced again
And be left broken hearted
©Kihek
Kimberly Ihekwoaba 